Month: July 2026

Posted on

MORE ABOUT LIVING

“You’ll never amount to anything!” “You’re nothing but a lazy bum!” “You stop your crying or I will give you something to cry about!” “Don’t be such a cry baby!” “Why don’t you grow up!” “You stupid jackass!” “You’ll do as I say or else!”

Any of these phrases sound familiar to you? I am sure each of you could add many of your own. These are the phrases that used to play in my head. They were put there by the people who were important to me; my parents, my teachers, and others. I don’t think they set out to provide me with a poor self image, and in most cases, I don’t think they ever intended to hurt me. Over the years, however, these phrases became my crutch. I could blame others for my failures and lack of accomplishment. Even my drinking must have been caused by them. I think many of us over compensated by trying to live our lives to please others. We always strived for perfection and when we did not accomplish perfection, we heard those voices again. It took me a long time after I sobered up and joined AA to get the voices out of my head and take responsibility for my own life. I could continue to blame them or I could purge myself of my worthless self image and regain the perfect person God created when I entered this world.

My Higher Power has sent me many teachers since my first baby steps in sobriety. My friends in AA provided me with my first words of wisdom. My wife, children, and other relatives and friends guided me on my return to perfection. God even put obstacles in my path so that I could learn from the experiences. He/She continues to give me pop quizzes to see if I have really learned the lessons. I was even able to sit down with my parents and resolve my issues with them. Before they passed on,, I was able to work through my anger to allow love and forgiveness to return.

My dog, Bear, also provides me with wisdom. Each morning as part of my routine, I play ball with Bear. Bear probably would have been an alcoholic had he been human. He has a great obsession with chasing this ball. Even after one of our 6 mile hikes, as soon as we return home he is dropping the ball at my feet. Anyway, Bear loves to catch the ball on the first bounce. He jumps high into the air to catch the ball. Maybe one out of ten times he is successful. The point is, it doesn’t matter to Bear whether he is successful in catching the ball or not, he just enjoys chasing that ball. It does not affect who he is, he just goes on enjoying life.

I chase my ball each day as well. It is the way I choose to live life. Perfection has taken on a new meaning to me. The old saying, “God doesn’t make any junk” or “God’s not through with me yet” takes on new meaning. Today I achieve perfection by reminding myself of the Steps and working them on a daily basis. I know with confidence that this “Power, greater than ourselves” is restoring me to sanity. I can admit when I am wrong and seek forgiveness from others. I have the ability to forgive others when I am wronged. He/She removes my shortcomings and provides me with those pop quizzes to see how I am progressing. I forgive myself and get back on track. I no longer beat myself up for what I previously believed were failures. What I once perceived as failures are those times when I miss the ball on the first bounce. I can still have fun chasing the ball. In other words, I can still live life with a passion.

I can ensure that I never say those things that caused me so much pain to others. Instead of tearing others down, I can build them up. I am allowed to practice the Eleventh and Twelfth Steps. Through prayer and mediation I gain the knowledge of His/Her will for my life. My spiritual awakening allows me to practice these principles in all my affairs and give back to this wonderful world I live in.

The phrases that used to govern my self-image are now only phantoms of the past. Their energy is gone and no longer identifies who I am. I am successful in all that I do because there is no such thing as failure.

I know that in many cases, I am preaching to the choir. You have learned these lessons as you trudged the road of happy destiny. I think I am glad I went through what I went through to get to where I am today because I might not have otherwise learned these important lessons about living.

I would like to share with you a prayer I often refer to:

My child, the love of God soothes me and quiets my soul:

“My child I love you with an everlasting love. Know that I am with you always guiding you and making your way safe. There is no place you can ever go where I am not there with you.

“My child, I am here for you through every challenge of life. Give Me your worries and fears. Accept my peace, for it is a peace that passes all understanding. I give it to you freely and completely.

“Let me guide you, and I will show you a world filled with more blessings than you could ever imagine. Believe in Me child, for I have always believed in you.”

Thanks for letting me share!!!

Posted on

WHAT I’VE LEARNED ABOUT LOVE

This paper is a long time coming. In fact it has probably taken me most of my lifetime to find a definition of love that fits me.

I have been in and out of relationships for a lifetime. I thought I knew what it meant when I said, “I love you!”. But I did not. I started to learn about love after reading Eric Butterworth’s book entitled, “Life is for Loving”. Mr. Butterworth suggests that love is not a noun nor an object. Love is a verb and perhaps should mean, “I’m loving you.” See the difference. Again from Butterworth’s book, he says, “Modern psychology has misled people with its insistence that ‘the greatest need of man is to be loved’. We have been taught to think of love as a commodity rather than a divine process.”

So much of my life I have seen love in my relationships as, “What’s in it for me!” I may have thought I knew what love was but in reality it was all about me. “Take care of me, give me sex, cook for me, take care of me!” What I was really looking for was a caretaker. Maybe that is why I have been married five times. And maybe that is why I am able to talk about love and what it really means for me.

That all changed when my late wife Danielle got sick and we spent the last seven weeks of our lives together at home. For the first time I did not see caring for her as an obligation. I saw it as an opportunity to “be loving!” I was given the gift of caring for her every need and in return I found the gift of listening. The conversations two people have as one approaches death’s door is unique and gratifying. Everything two people ever wanted to say or ask is a gift. We become as one as we see that “loving” is the verb that brings us closer together.

As Danielle sat on the couch one day in those last couple of weeks of her life and her exact words were, “Ray, when I’m gone I want you to find another woman!”

How could I even consider such an idea, The woman I loved was sitting across from me. I told her that was an impossiblity. She then said, “Ray, if you don’t, I’ll come back and find one for you.”

On Christmas Eve 2022 the love of my life passed through that door we call death. But I know in my heart of hearts that is not the end. Danielle and I spoke often of what we believed was on the other side of that door. We saw it as wonderful and magnificent. Danielle went through that door and found out for herself what she and I had talked about so often. She entered through that door fearlessly and satisfied her curiosity about what is on the otherside. And I was able to be loving as I felt only joy in her passing.

It wasn’t long after her passing that I had that magical moment where Danielle’s words of finding another woman came true. I think somehow Danielle had a hand in what followed. I met Diann standing in line at Starbuck’s. The look that passed between us has never left us. I paid for her hot chocolate and invited her to join me with my coffee. We spent 2 ½ hours talking before we parted company. The rest is history. We were married on August 16th, 2024.

Since that magical day at Starbucks, I have had the opportunity to embrace the idea of loving another person. After first meeting we would talk (and listen) to each other sometimes for hours at a time and several times a day over the phone. Since being married, we still spend time every morning reading and talking together. There is something incredibly sexy about listening to Diann give her opinions and thoughts on something we have just read or in talking and listening to our past lives along with being in the moment and listening to her wisdom.

For the first time in my life I no longer have secrets because I have become so transparent as I speak of those secrets in my life because I truly trust Diann. We have both bared our souls and today a freedom exists that I have never known before. And for the first time in my life, and I really mean this, I feel loved. Loved for who I am not for who I think I must be to prove myself to another.

I have learned much about myself. My need to control, my ability to forgive. I am now aware of when I am trying to control and when I have the need to prove myself right over nonsensical issues. Diann and I talk about these things and we make the changes we see we need to make. I have learned when to speak and when to bite my tongue. With the two of us respecting each other and talking about anything, we have never had a fight or non-respectful disagreement. Peace rather than chaos reigns in our relationship.

Recently I was in the hospital with pneumonia (Legionairre’s Disease). First time in my life in a hospital overnight. Diann came multiple times a day and just sat with me. I had done the same with her when she had been in the hospital. Not out of a sense of obligation but because that is what loving Diann is all about.

We travel so well together. Whether a long road trip, a cruise, or by train, we enjoy being together. No words need to be spoken to feel the oneness between us. Other times it seems as if the miles slip by as we talk and listen to each other.

On one of our trips we had a list of questions to ask each other based on a couple’s game we had purchased. It was a list of questions to ask each other to get to know each other better. The questions were across the board and even included some questions about sex. Interestingly, we found that we knew exactly how we would answer each other’s question.

Today we do almost everything together but leave space for ourselves. We support and encourage each other’s endeavors. We are kind, caring and compassionate and we are at peace. More peaceful than we have ever been. The mutual respect we have for each other defies definition.

We learned together the meaning of loving ourselves first and finding the uniqueness and self-worth in ourselves. We have studied together and enjoyed the growth we see in one another. We don’t have to work at our relationship, we have learned to live in the moment and everything good seems to fall into place. I no longer say “I love you” as much as I say “I’m loving you!”

I waited a lifetime for love to come my way in such a easy fashion. But I also spent a lifetime learning what love is and what it is not. The time I have left on this planet is filled with peace and loving.

It has taken a lifetime but I will never trade what I have with Diann. What we have together is perfect.

Posted on

OVERCOMING MY FEAR

What do chocolate and the Fourth Step have in common? Maybe nothing. On the other hand, they may have a great deal in common.

Recently, I took a continuing education class from the University of New Mexico. It was a three hour, evening class, entitled “Extreme Chocolate”. I was indulging my interest in cooking and in particular, trying to learn how to make a Red Chile Mole recipe. I also learned lots about chocolate in general, and I participated in making Chocolate Mousse, Truffles, and Mexican Hot Chocolate. In New Mexico, these would all be considered necessary tools for survival.

You may be asking yourself about now, what does all this have to do with the Fourth Step? Allow me to explain.

Most of my life was spent in fear. Fear of how I would fit in, fear of the unknown, fear of raising my hand to ask a question, fear of rejection, and fear of what would others think. I was filled with fear.

Being a law enforcement officer, I confronted danger on a regular basis and did so by confronting fear successfully on a regular basis. I didn’t back away from confrontation of fear of the unknown when entering a building to search for a suspect. The fears associated with my job in law enforcement were lessened because I had been trained to deal with dangerous situations.

My first AA and POF meeting was on a Thursday night in Eagle Rock, California. Following that meeting, I had the thought that if I did what these people told me, I could achieve sobriety. My plan was to attend these meetings every Thursday night. But there was a problem. On Sunday night, I wanted a drink in the worst way. I knew I would drink again unless I did something about it. I now know how Bill W. felt when he thought he would start drinking again and he reached out for help. I was an infant in AA and was not sure how to proceed. I did not know of any POF meetings, but I remembered there was an Alano Club in town I had found when working patrol. I took a chance and went to the club. The meeting was scheduled to begin only a few minutes after I arrived. There were only 5 of us and I was in a suit, having just come from church. The other 4 were dressed in motorcycle leathers and I immediately stereotyped them as motorcycle gang types. I had been in a shooting involving a motorcycle gang a few years earlier, so my fear level was intensified. I thought about leaving but was afraid what the others would think.

I sat in that meeting frozen in fear. I was asked to read something but don’t remember today what it was. I just knew I was in the wrong place and sat frozen in fear. As the meeting continued and these men started to share, I found that I was really no different from them. I was suffering from the same disease. We shared a common denominator, and that was we all had succumbed to the long term effects of alcohol. My fear was dissolving.

By the end of the meeting, I had not only briefly shared, but I had told them of being a cop. They had a good laugh over that and joked that we had all probably met somewhere before. Going to that meeting was the best experience in the world for me. It introduced me to the real world of Alcoholics Anonymous and, to this day, I have never feared entering a meeting I have not been to before.

The next step in my sobriety was to work the Steps. It took me almost six months before I could work that Fourth Step. I was afraid to look at my past in the mirror being held to my face. But I finished that Step after much prayer and contemplation. I did it as fearlessly as I could and then followed up with the Fifth and Sixth Steps.

The results were amazing. Most of my fears were gone. I was able to step out into the world in freedom. I was no longer enslaved by my fears. Today I fit in because I am me, and some people seem to like me the way I am. I know I do. I raise my hands and ask those questions that prove to the instructors that there really are stupid questions, but I don’t care, I get my answers. And, finally, I can walk into a room of 15 women and take a cooking class about chocolate.

Today, I walk a life, filled with fun, freedom, respect for myself, but best of all, I walk fearlessly through my life.

Hope this may be of some help to you.

Thanks for letting me share!!!

Posted on

MY HEROES HAVE ALWAYS BEEN COWBOYS

“My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys,” is a reminder of some of my childhood heroes. Hopalong Cassidy, Roy Rogers, Lash La Rue, Gene Autry, Annie Oakley, Wild Bill Hickock, and The Lone Ranger and Tonto, served as examples of how I wanted to live my life. Honor, integrity, and respect were exemplified by the way these cowboys lived their life. These heroes were very real to me and I strived to live the perfection they portrayed on the screen. They each lived by the Cowboy Code. One example was Gene Autry’s Cowboy Code:

  1. A cowboy never takes unfair advantage – even of his enemy.
    1. A cowboy never betrays a trust. He never goes back on his word.
  2. A cowboy always tells the truth.
  3. A cowboy is kind and gentle to small children, old folks, and animals.
  4. A cowboy is free from racial and religious intolerance.
  5. A cowboy is always helpful when someone is in trouble.
  6. A cowboy is always a good worker.
  7. A cowboy respects womanhood, his parents and his nation’s laws.
  8. A cowboy is clean about his person in thought, word, and deed.
  9. A cowboy is a patriot.

(If you are interested in reading the other cowboy rules for life, just run “The Cowboy Code” in your Internet search engine and they all pop up.)

Life was simple, there were the good guys and the bad guys, good versus evil, and the guy with the white hat always won because he was an honorable person and that allowed him to overcome the dishonorable acts and deeds of the villain.

As kids, my friends and I would take on the identity of our favorite cowboys or cowgirls as we played in the world of make believe. Nobody ever wanted to be the bad guy, in our world of cowboys and Indians only the good guys were portrayed.

As I grew out of childhood and into an adult, I think many of the lessons learned from these childhood idols continued to mold me into the person I became. I think it also played a role in my self image when I was unable to live up to the cowboy code. I know that I broke every one of the rules of the cowboy codes and I beat myself up for being a failure.

On the other hand, when I drank, I could fool myself into believing what a great and wonderful person I had been. Those after shift get-togethers with my fellow cops allowed me to believe the lies I told myself. It was a tough world and I was the big gun in town. I was protecting people from the sinister deeds of the guys in the black hats. Looking back at it, I was probably one of those cowboys who spent most of their time sitting around the saloon in the middle of the day.
When my life was held in the balance and God was showing me the way out, the miracle happened. A support group was born that would shape the way I lived the rest of my life. A new set of heroes emerged that helped me through my new code for living. A set of 12 simple Steps that gave me a new way to live. My new heroes walked with me and taught me the meaning of the words, honor, respect and integrity. Deena R., Bob D., John H., Marty W., Ed S., Janice R., Butch R., and countless others too numerous to mention, became the heroes and icons I wanted to emulate.

Today I look for progress not perfection and I have learned how to forgive myself when I fail to live up to the Cowboy Code or the Twelve Steps. Today I am perfectly imperfect.

If you have not yet found this wonderful way to live. If you want to find the peace that comes with this style of living, find a sponsor and learn how to work the Twelve Steps. Find your heroes in this simple program and inherit life once again.

Thanks for letting me share!!!

Posted on

OUR SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

OUR SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

Who, what, and where is God? I think we each have our own sacred path that leads us to this entity we call God, Spirit, Great Spirit, Universe, Jesus, and so many more names. It is more the feeling I have when I am in concert with my beliefs in God. It is my journey, not yours. You may not have recognized that journey yet and would like to skip this story. I give you permission to do so. As you read these words, understand that this is my journey that Danielle has chosen to walk with me. (At least for now.) This is our story.

Both Danielle and I began our spiritual journey’s in very different ways and yet we eventually came together on the same spiritual path.

Danielle grew up in the small town of Piedmont, South Dakota and was introduced to the Methodist church in her teens. Her mom attended church and taught Sunday School. Her dad did not attend regularly but did make time to attend on Easter and Christmas. Since Danielle played guitar and loved to sing, she became part of the Praise and Worship Team at her church. She loved her minister, Pastor Leach. In fact, she was instrumental in modifying the worship service. Danielle loves to pray and she found that during the meditation time during the service, she did not have time to finish her prayers in the time of silence provided. She mentioned this to Pastor Leach and from that time forward, the time of silence did not end until Pastor Leach saw that Danielle had concluded her prayers.

Danielle was also very active with the youth group at church and she enjoyed her party times each week with them. At the conclusion of what may have been a summer program, all of the kids were encouraged to go to the front of the church, kneel down, and say that they believed in Jesus. Danielle chose not to participate because, as she put it, she did not believe in Jesus, because she did not really know who Jesus was and she did not want to lie in front of the church congregation. That night when she returned home, she got down on her knees and prayed, “Jesus if you’re real, reveal yourself to me.” She said that an immediate feeling of peace and comfort surrounded her and in that moment she felt the presence of Jesus. It was so very real that she was able to climb up into His lap and until this day she continues to feel His presence and she still climbs up onto his lap.

Her close friendship with Pastor Leach continued. The Pastor and her began attending local tractor shows a couple times a year. (Keep in mind this was a rural part of South Dakota) Much like car shows, tractor shows were designed to showcase the latest tractors and their makers. At these shows, Pastor Leach would lead a cowboy church where Danielle would play her guitar and sing praise songs. The cowboy church was held outdoors under a tent with maybe 50 or so cowboys in attendance. Danielle would play and sing and Pastor Leach would give a short message in the hour long service.

Danielle also had a unique baptism experience. When Pastor Leach and Danielle determined it was time for her baptism, they chose the creek that ran through the back of Danielle’s house. Pastor Leach, Danielle and Danielle’s dad went down to the creek and performed the baptism ritual and ceremony. Complete immersion in very cold water. Brrr! Danielle’s mom had chosen not to attend because in her words she, “ didn’t think Danielle was good enough to be baptized.”

As Danielle reflected on her church going experience, she only remembered the good things. She had no recollection of being taught about the idea original sin. The idea that when we are born we already hopelessly sinful. Daily she watched Joyce Meyers and Ken Copeland on television and loved their messages of hope and love.

Several years later when she moved to New Mexico she attended the Assembly of God church and the Vineyard church.
My experience growing up in the church was quite different. I attended the Christian Reformed Church in Arcadia located just a couple of blocks from my home. The congregation consisted on mostly people who lived in the local area and were Dutch. The Christian Reformed Church was an off-spring of the Dutch Reformed Church, a very conservative religion that believed only members of the Dutch Reformed Church were admitted into Heaven. It was also the denomination that created the idea of Apartheid and separation of races in South Africa.

In 1941 my grandparents, and three other couples, started this church in Arcadia It was a part of a larger denomination especially popular in the Midwest, particularly in Michigan and Iowa. The first missionary minister increased the size of the congregation by going through the local telephone book and calling people with Dutch surnames and inviting them to Sunday services. Eventually the church was constructed and over the years enlarged several times to accommodate the growing congregation.

My parents met in this church, married in this church, me and all my siblings were baptized as infants in this church and I later made my Profession of Faith in this church at the age of 15. Later my children were baptized and made their profession of faith in this church. The roots ran very deep.

I had so many mentors growing up. Friends of my parents that took a real interest in helping me along my religious path. People who cared about what happened to me. People who were kind and caring. They often waved at me or stopped me when they saw me riding by on my bike and sometimes invited me in for a cool drink and a snack. It was like one big happy family and I loved it! I set up my summertime “Lemonade and Hot Dog Stand” in front of one of their homes which was a busy street and a more desirable sales location than on the quiet street I lived on. I used their stove and refrigerator to cook the hot dogs and store the lemonade and made a few bucks from my sales.

I was often invited in for lunch with these friends and invited to Sunday dinners and barbecues.. Dutch meals were the best. Lunch often included a variety of meats and cheeses along with a delicious selection of breads and crackers. Sunday dinners were almost always a roast or fried chicken. I remember a very socially active church community that I was in love with. It was a close knit family of both adults and friends my age. In fact, the church was criticized for being less than hospitable to people with non-Dutch heritage.

Most of the people attending this little church lived within a mile of the church. Some of these people, including my parents, started the Arcadia Christian School, a one room schoolhouse with eight grades. One of the more humorous stories to come out of the beginning of this school was that it was originally named the Arcadia Christian Reformed School to match up with the Christian Reformed Church located a half-block away. It didn’t take long for the local community to react and take issue with the school being located in their community. There is no way they were going to allow a “reformed school” in their neighborhood. There was a lot of explaining to do before the community understood it was a church school and not a “reformed school” for juvenile delinquents. The controversy finally subsided. The school was appropriately renamed the Arcadia Christian School.

The Christian Reformed Church taught me early about being born into sin, that if I didn’t obey God I would go to hell, that if I didn’t measure up to God’s standards, my prayers would not be answered. It was drummed into my head from a very early age that I was born into sin. I was corrupt and that could not be changed unless I believed in Jesus dying for my sins and living an upright life governed by the teachings of the church. I believe this had everything to do with my poor self-image, my feelings of being less than, and believing I would never be good enough.. This was so deeply ingrained in me by the constant teachings by ministers, sunday school teachers, school teachers and members of the church.

Fast-forward many years. I am now an adult in my 40’s and am still very involved in the church. I am attending both the morning and evening services as well as being totally immersed in church activities. I sit on the church council and have served as both deacon and elder. I teach Sunday School, head committees and so much more. I am perpetuating the teachings I later realized to have been such a hindrance to my own growth.

My soon to be ex-wife and I were going through a separation and divorce but both of us were still attending the same Christian Reformed Church. The church of my childhood. I saw no difficulty in attending and worshiping in the same space. Two of my close friends and elders in the church came to visit us one evening. These two elders were people I had known for many years, had taken meals with. These were men that were among my dearest friends. I knew this must be more than a friendly meeting when they arrived unannounced and had driven more than 30 miles to where I was now living. They hesitatingly got to the point of their visit. They were representing the church council and asked me to find another church. My presence and my wife’s presence at worship services were creating a problem. People were taking sides and they thought it best I find another place of worship. What? I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was devastated at what I was hearing. Really! Was this what my religion had finally come to? Where was the love? Where was my support? Where was God? I was being uprooted from my heritage. As much as I hated what was happening, I chose to find another church and in doing so God was leading me in a direction I could not have seen coming.

Although it took some time, I soon started attending a Presbyterian church. I soon found myself very involved with this church, had found a close friendship in Mark Kliewer, the interim minister and was a member of the Session or church council.

I was the chair of the Personnel Committee that was responsible for overseeing personnel issues with the church, the associated nursery school, and the church administrative staff. As mentioned, Mark was the interim minister and had a one year contract to provide ministerial duties with the church. The previous minister had accepted a call to another church and Mark served as minister while another minister was found.

As so often happens when there is a change in leadership, a particular faction in the church resented Mark and felt he was not doing what he had been called to do. I won’t go into the details but I was often asked to sit in on meetings between Mark and congregants who aired their grievances and complaints. I often could not believe my ears as these people shouted profanities and obscenities at Mark. Sometimes it felt as if I was sitting in a bar and not in the minister’s office. A few months later, Mark’s contract expired and he left to serve another nearby church as interim minister.

After Mark’s departure, and since I was seen as his friend, the same people who had resented Mark turned their anger and energy towards me. I suddenly found myself as their new “whipping boy”. Session meetings became difficult. If I said white one of them would say black and their anger was prevalent. I soon found myself feeling abused and those old feelings of not being good enough were returning.

By now a new minister had been found but that did not seem to solve any of the issues I had been experiencing. After one particular volatile diatribe directed at me by a fellow Session member, I saw myself as the victim. I realized perhaps for the first time that I had the choice to continue to be victimized or to be strong and stand up for myself. I chose the latter and made the decision to resign from the Council and leave the church. I was not going to be the victim of anyone’s verbal abuse again. I sent a letter of resignation to the minister along with my reasons! Interestingly, I never heard one single word back from anyone. I left the church!

I wondered where the love was in these churches? I also realized that this was a two-way street. I was not loving my enemies, I was not praying for those who persecuted me, I was only caught up in my own stew of anger and hate. The teachings of the church and Jesus were ignored as I was too busy being the victim.

I had now been away from the church for many years. Sundays became just another day for me. Fortunately, I did attend my A.A. meetings and that provided a spiritual base. I learned more about my relationship with God through the teachings of A.A. than I had never known while attending church. In 2001 I retired from my law enforcement career and was enjoying retirement. One day I had lunch with an acquaintance that changed my life forever. A former Captain I had worked for, Sue Burgoon and I had lunch together in Huntington Beach, one of my favorite spots in the world. During lunch the topic turned to spirituality, God, and religion. Sue said she had a book she thought I would be interested in and a few days later the book entitled “Discover the Power Within You” by Eric Butterworth arrived. The book, written back in the 1960s was amazing. I had only read the first half of the preface to the book when I could not put it down. It spoke to me as nothing had ever spoken to me before. It spoke of love, compassion, peace and most of all of never judging another for who they were or how or where they worshiped God. Butterworth let it be known that God leaves no one out and that became my credo. Most important was that Unity believed we are born into Original Blessing and not original sin.

Mr. Butterworth was a Unity minister, a movement that taught the importance of inclusivity, leaving no-one out. This movement was accepting of all other religions and sought only to see the Divine spark in all of us. Unity church was co-founded by Charles and Myrtle Fillmore back in the late 1800s. Myrtle was healed of her tuberculosis after being given a six month death decree (she lived for more than 40 years after that.) Charles saw how his wife had been healed and began a journey that would not only start a new movement but would see his own disability healed. He had one leg shorter by inches than the other and had to wear special shoes. Over a period of years the leg lengthened until he wore normal shoes and no longer walked with a limp.

I wanted to know more about the Unity movement and sought out a nearby Unity church in the Los Angeles area. I was met with open arms and warm smiles. I felt like I was home. I attended this Unity church for a little more than a year before moving to New Mexico. The small town I lived in had no Unity church and the nearest one was 87 miles and an hour-and-a -half away. So, I reverted back to old habits and just stopped attending church but I maintained a great interest in Unity. I read everything Eric Butterworth had written as well a several other Unity authors.

After nearly 10 years, I was going through yet another separation and divorce when I met Danielle. Our courtship and relationship is outlined in the chapter entitled The Teacher and the Groom. It soon became apparent that although Danielle and I came from different religious backgrounds, we had the same ideas about love, compassion, kindness, and peace. Danielle’s background was founded on love and a close relationship with Jesus. Mine was filled with the idea that I was born into a world where I was already condemned.

Soon after Danielle and I began dating, we drove to the Unity Church in Albuquerque where once again we were greeted with open arms and warm smiles. People seemed genuine in their loving ways. We were told that we were born into a world of original blessing! We were the apple of God’s eye and were magnificent and loved! We were not judged!

We still drive to Albuquerque each Sunday. A lengthy drive that is filled with music and conversation between Danielle and me. As we enter the sanctuary each Sunday we are greeted with the sound of laughter and love. The message is clearly mentioned by the minister each week, GOD AND UNITY LEAVE NO ONE OUT!”

We are now on the road to making a transition from New Mexico to Missouri to be near Unity Village, the headquarters of the Unity movement.