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This is a love story. For me, it is a once in a lifetime love story. It took me all of my life to find love in a most unexpected and wonderful way. I am telling this story from my perspective but if you were to ask Danielle to tell her version, it would be almost exactly the same.

I first laid eyes on Danielle at the local elementary school in Mountainair, New Mexico. I was part of an adopted grandparent program and was standing in the school hallways awaiting the arrival of my adopted student. Down the hall a door opened and out stepped the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. I still remember the fur lined boots and matching fur lined hat. She waved, smiled and came to where I was standing and introduced herself. She went on her way and it would be a year or so later before I would see her again. I had no idea then that this beautiful lady would someday become my wife.

Once a month in Mountainair, New Mexico, this small town of 980 people, there is a food bank where food is delivered to be distributed to the people in need. Unbeknown to me, Danielle had started and continued to operate this food bank where coincidentally, I volunteered each month. It was a labor of love and a great way to get to know my fellow citizens in Mountainair. People would start lining up for the food bank at 6 AM. The food didn’t arrive until 3 PM but that allowed for people to visit, share stories, and just spend time with each other.

I was recently surprised when a check came in the mail I did not expect. It was a large sum of money and I wanted to give some away to worthy causes. As a result I donated a fairly large sum to the food bank so it could continue. It was then that I realized Danielle was the person who had started this food bank and now that she knew of my interest in helping others, she asked me for some help and invited me to a meeting.

At this meeting, Danielle and I were re-introduced to each other. I remarked to her how much I admired a pin she was wearing on her coat. It was a white dove in flight. I had no more gotten the words out of my mouth when quick as a flash, she unpinned the dove and handed it to me. It was amazing! Nothing like that had happened to me before. I was overwhelmed. I humbly accepted her gift and I still have the pin and wear it on one of my jackets. Since then I have never been surprised by Danielle’s generosity to me and others.

I wasn’t sure why I was at this meeting but it soon became apparent, Danielle needed some help. Danielle explained that a thrift shop in Albuquerque was going out of business and had offered her the entire contents of their store along with all the equipment and display racks. She just needed to get it from Albuquerque to Mountainair, a distance of about 87 miles. She had help lined up but needed a driver for the 21 foot rental truck. She asked if I would drive it for her? I accepted her request with a bit of hesitation as I had not driven a truck like this before.

On the appointed day, Danielle joined me in the cab of the truck and off we went. The day went without a hitch. We loaded the truck and moved the contents to Mountainair. There was no prelude to romance, and in fact I would only see Danielle occasionally at school or at the food bank.

As I continued my volunteer work at the school and at the food bank, I got to know her a little better.

Fast forward those two years. My wife had left me to move out of state. It was unexpected and I was quite surprised by her move. A amicable divorce followed. I had enough of failed relationships and I was not looking for another one. I was quite happy living with my dog in a house that I loved. I was one happy camper.

Halloween night 2014! I was at the elementary school for their haunted house and I encountered Danielle. During our brief conversation she happened to ask how my wife was. I explained that I was moving through a divorce and was happy with my living situation. and that was that! I thought I saw something I could not put my finger on with Danielle. Maybe it was because she asked about my wife. Why would she ask? Anyway, things moved ahead and we maintained a professional relationship.

It turned out that this school year I was mentoring a special education student and he was in Danielle’s class. Oh, did I forget to mention that Danielle is a special education teacher? Well, over time, I became acquainted with all of the special ed studentsin her class and Danielle asked me if I had time to help her students with math and reading. I agreed and I spent some time each week with her students.

By now, Christmas was approaching and most of the students in Danielle’s class came from homes which were economically depressed. I was interested in getting the student I mentored a bicycle for Christmas but did not want to create problems for the other kids in the class. I asked Danielle for her assistance in coming up with Christmas gifts for everyone in her class. She wholeheartedly agreed and we began looking for funding sources. Many people offered donations and we were able to purchase some really nice gifts for these kids.

On the Friday following Thanksgiving, 2014, Danielle invited me to her house to discuss how we would manage the gift give-a-way. She said she would make me breakfast and then we could talk about our plan.

Danielle lived on several acres of land, had her own barn, some chickens, and many, many fruit trees. Her home was beautiful and nicely furnished with a plethora of antiques. Walking into her home, it reminded me of my grandma’s house. The wooden table, the antique hutch and sideboard gave me a warm feeling. The house was warm and comfortable and the smell of Calabacitas cooking made my mouth water. Calabacitas is a Mexican dish made with squash, sausage, onions, and cheese.

After a hearty breakfast at her antique oak kitchen table, we pondered how we would move ahead with the Christmas gift-giving and were able to put a plan of action together. Danielle then politely asked me to leave as she had errands to run in Albuquerque. I think this next question was a turning point in our relationship. As I was leaving, I turned and told her I had nothing going on and asked her if she would like some company running errands. She surprised me when she said “yes” so quickly. And off we went.

Danielle and I spent a perfect day together. We had lively conversations as we learned about each other. We laughed and had fun as we went looking for the toys we would buy for our Christmas kids. Even though it was the end of November the skies were blue and the temps in the low 70s. It was nice to be out and about but even nicer being with Danielle. Like all good things, they must come to an end. Danielle was driving me back to her house so I could retrieve my car. As we were driving, Danielle spoke about how she really wanted to be more spontaneous in her day to day life I guess she decided to start immediately. My mind had not been on where we were at and when I looked out the window I didn’t recognize the landscape we were driving through. I asked her where we were and where she was going? She said she had never been to the top of Sandia Peak before and wanted to check it out. Sandia Peak is the highest peak in the Albuquerque area is at an elevation of 10, 378 feet. That was okay with me, because I really wanted our day to continue. I was so much enjoying our conversation and our time together with this remarkable woman.

As I mentioned, this was an unusually warm November and the temperatures at the bottom of the mountain were in the 70’s but at the summit it was freezing cold and blowing like the dickens. Danielle had parked her car and we decided to get out and use the restroom. Neither of us had a coat and I was dressed in short sleeves and freezing my butt off. I had finished using the restroom and was waiting for Danielle while nearly freezing to death. She finally came walking back towards me and as she walked over to me something, I will never be quite sure of, overtook me. What happened next was completely out of character for me. Here I am after spending a most wonderful day with the most beautiful woman I have ever met. She is 15 years my junior and way out of my league. To this day I do know that it was an amazing act of courage with a sprinkling of craziness! As she came to me, I wrapped my arms around her in a great big bear hug and planted a warm (and wonderful, I might add) kiss on her lips. For me it was the kiss of my lifetime. Not any ordinary kiss, but the feeling of my lips and her lush, red lips was an extraordinary experience as our lips met. Not sensuous, not empty, but filled with a love and passion that was new to me. For a moment I was no longer cold, I was warm all over and it was if I had been transported to Shangri La. I think it was a divinely inspired kiss! It could have been nothing less to evoke the feelings I felt in that brief moment. Although the kiss was brief, it had an impact on me that remains with me yet today. And that, my friends, is how we began dating.

Please don’t miss reading the chapter entitled “The Miracle of the Stars” for the miraculous event that sealed the deal for our marriage.

We dated until May 16, 2015 which is our wedding anniversary. We remained single and celibate until our marriage and we invited God to be part of our relationship. A decision I have never come to regret. I proposed to her in the Unity Church of Albuquerque and that was also the place of our marriage.

My relationships of the past left much to be desired. The last thing I was looking for was another relationship and I had told myself I would remain single for the rest of my years. But God had a surprise in store for me and I thank Him every day for the joy and happiness I have found in my life with Danielle.Here comes the teacher and the groom!

Oh, by the way; the kids from Danielle’s class had a very merry Christmas that year as we were able to fulfill all of their Christmas dreams.

BUSTIN’ MY BUTTONS

My wife, Danielle, was a rodeo queen as well as a rodeo champion. She won the prestigious National Cowgirl Rodeo Championship back in 1978. This was an all around event that included barrel racing, calf roping, and goat tying.

For those of you unfamiliar with rodeo events, in barrel racing, a competitor on horseback rides around a series of four barrels in a timed event, making tight turns around a barrel without touching it. Calf roping is also done from horseback. A rider used a rope to ensnare a running calf. Lastly and this is the crux of the story is about goat tying.

Danielle disliked goat tying. A goat would be tied to a long rope and her job was to ride her horse across an arena to where the goat was tied, jump off her horse, chase the goat, pick it up and tie three of its legs together, jump up and throw up her arms. The goat had to remain tied for at least eight seconds. This was also a timed event.

On one occasion, in a rodeo stadium filled with rodeo fans, she was assigned to a very large goat. She mounted her steed and raced across the arena and jumped from her horse. She managed to grab the goat but was having difficulty in getting the three feet together, due to the goat’s squirming and its size.

She was finally able to get the feet together and by throwing the rope in such a way as it wrapped itself around the feet of the goat while holding one end of the rope in her mouth, she successfully tied the goats feet. She immediately jumped up and spread her arms so the eight second countdown could commence.

Somehow, while tying the goat’s feet, one of its feet managed to make its way beneath her blouse. As she stood up in triumph and waving her arms, the goat’s leg managed to rip all of the buttons off her blouse, exposing her to the cheering crowd.

An embarrassing experience for her, one the crowd seemed to enjoy, and a lifetime of rodeo storytelling.

My late wife Danielle and I had made it a habit of taking a bath together on Saturday evenings in our oversized tub as we watched the sun set in our home in beautiful New Mexico. As we bathed and enjoyed each others company we often told stories and we relived some of our experiences. One day I started writing these stories down and put them together in a book entitled Saturday Nite Baths. The book has not been published but I enjoy sharing the stories. Here is one entitled “Not Guilty”.

NOT GUILTY

Every year the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department, (of which I was a member for 34 years) puts on a “Round Up” in Laughlin, Nevada. This is a 4 day reunion for retired folks from the department. In 2016 Danielle and I attended.

As is our custom, when we travel, we enjoy attending local Unity churches. On this particular Sunday we found a Unity church in nearby Bullhead City, Arizona. Laughlin and Bullhead City are only separated by the Colorado River which flows between them and also forms the border between Arizona and Nevada.

At the church we were warmly greeted andinformed that the minister was on vacation but there was a special musical event being performed by Armand and Angelina Della Volpe. This was right up our alley as we loved all kinds of music. We were not disappointed as Armand and Angelina put on an amazing performance. Armand is an accomplished flute player and Angelina is a classically trained soprano.

After finishing one of their pieces, Armand gave a short message that began this way: He stood up in front of the congregation and raised his hands and as he did so he spoke these words: “I now pronounce you NOT GUILTY!” Immediately there was heard a sigh that arose from the congregation. As Danielle and I discussed it later, we both felt as if a weight had been lifted off of our shoulders. What an amazing and profound impact those two simple words had. It was then that we decided we would use these words for others whenever the moment would arise.

Just a couple of weeks later, Danielle and I were meandering around Old Town Albuquerque. It is a part of the city that has been restored and is filled with shops, an American Indian Bazaar, a beautiful Catholic church, and other buildings of historical interest. We had just finished our lunch and were returning unhurriedly to our car when we spotted a shop advertising cowgirl apparel. Well if I had not mentioned it earlier, Danielle is a real cowgirl. She was a rodeo performer and had won the coveted title of “National Rodeo Cowgirl Champion” back in 1978. (By the way, she is very easy on the eyes and was twice runner up for Miss South Dakota.) So, you see, she loves cowgirl apparel.

We were the only customers in this small boutique and as Danielle browsed I struck up a conversation with the clerk. The clerk was a 35ish lady, small in stature, who spoke with a German accent. As we talked she shared that she was from Germany and that she was very ashamed of her countrymen. Even though she could not have been alive at the time, she felt guilty for the atrocities and execution of six million Jews during World War II. She felt that when people heard her German accent they were blaming her in part for this activity that had occurred under Hitler. As she was speaking, she was not making eye contact with me. She was looking down at the counter she was standing behind. Although I did not understand why she had taken on this unnecessary guilt and responsibility, I tried to be courteous and listen without interrupting. As I saw the sadness, the depression, and the fear in this young lady, those words of Armand came back to me. When she was finished speaking, I held up my arms with my hands and palms facing outward and spoke those words I had heard from Armand: “I pronounce you NOT GUILTY!”

What happened next was nothing short of amazing. Danielle and I speak of the transition often. Tears welled up in her eyes, color returned to her face, she began to smile and her entire countenance changed. If we had taken a before and after photo the two photos would have little in common. We were looking at a different person. She said a huge load had been lifted off her shoulders. She tearfully thanked us over and over again and gave us huge warm hugs. She couldn’t stop thanking us for coming into the store. We were dumbfounded.

As this young woman thanked us for the umpteenth time, we agreed to return next time we were back in town to hopefully continue our new-found friendship and we left the shop.

A few weeks later we were back in Old Town and thought to look up our new friend. We walked to where we knew the shop to be, but it was not there. I don’t mean it was closed; it was not there. The building wasn’t there. We walked up and down the streets several times and even drove up and down the streets looking for the shop. It was like it was never there. It was a “Twilight Zone” experience. We were once again dumbfounded, how could the shop just disappear? What kind of experience did we have? Was the shop and our new friend somehow transported here temporarily? Was it only for the purpose of her having the experience with us? To receive absolution of her imaginary sins? We don’t know! We have never seen this lady nor the store again! I could not find it listed when I did an Internet search. This was really eerie!

Maybe what happened was also a lesson for us to learn.

I learned a long time ago, that I needed to love myself so that I could love others. I can only love others to the extent I love myself. Both Danielle and I have come to the conclusion that loving ourselves must come first. A huge part of loving ourselves is being able to forgive ourselves for our shortcomings and change our behavior so we do not continue do the things that caused us to look down upon ourselves in the first place. We had to pronounce ourselves, “NOT GUILTY” and then we had to live those words.

NOT GUILTY