In the next section of this newsletter you will be reading about Bill W. and Dr. Bob working to help a fellow alcoholic and the commitment to helping another reach sobriety.
It got me to thinking about how I donate my time and energy to others. In addition to working with other alcoholics, there are other opportunities to reach out to help those in need. For me, it is just another way to work the Twelfth Step.
The question that often arises for me is, “Am I really doing all I can to help?” To illustrate, let me tell you a real life story:
I had driven back to Los Angeles from New Mexico to take a class at the City Attorney’s Office. The class dealt with helping victims of natural disasters recover from the trauma they have experienced. One of the instructors was a gentleman from New Orleans who had survived Hurricane Katrina.
Dan spoke of the incomprehensible carnage left behind by Katrina. He described his efforts to get out of the area to a safe refuge. He and ten others were in his van headed north. They had been on the road for several hours. The roads were littered with cars that had been abandoned when they had run out of gas and he was also very low on fuel and unable to find any gas stations that had fuel available.
It was dark when he made the decision to pull off the road to find gas. He was concerned about the fact that he was in a white community and he and his passengers were black. In Louisiana, racial difficulties still exist. Shortly after pulling off the main highway he saw a sign offering assistance to Katrina survivors. He hesitantly turned into the driveway of the church where the sign was posted.
As he stopped his van, he was approached by several white people. They welcomed Dan and his passengers, took them inside, provided them with food and drink, a place to cleanup and offered them a place to sleep. Dan told me the one thing that meant the most to him was that he and his companions were made to feel cared for. In addition to the food they were provided, they were each given a space which was their own. They were given access to the church computer and telephone so they might let loved ones know they were safe. They were even provided with gasoline when they left the following morning.
Dan explained that these wonderful people held nothing back. They gave all they had to show their compassion and love. He said he had never felt so cared for as at that time.
This got me to thinking about my own ways of giving. I must have been an taking an inventory of my working the Twelfth Step.
I like to think I reach out to others unconditionally, but I realized that I usually hold a little something back. It is that selfish part of me. Instead of giving unconditional love and caring, I hold back the little bit I feel I should not have to part with. I don’t give away that jacket I haven’t worn in years even though its never been worn. I might need it someday. Or, when it is time to contribute food for those in need, do I only give what I don’t want or could I give the best I have?
The same thing with working that Twelfth Step. Do I go that extra mile to help another practicing alcoholic? Am I too busy with my life to work with another who is still struggling? Am I willing to get off my sorry ass and sit with that person, to take them to a meeting? Am I willing to donate my time to be a sponsor?
And this all spills over into my life in the real world of people who are hurting or in need. Am I being the best I can be to make my community the best it can be?
The best part of not drinking is that I can answer these questions honestly for myself. If I was still drinking, I wouldn’t even concern myself with this subject. My only concern was for myself and my next drink. Today I feel blessed that I can be a volunteer. In my own small way it is the way to give back for all the time I squandered on myself.
Isn’t sobriety great???? Thanks for letting me share!!!
RECOVERING ADDICT NUMBER:
“X” Million Two Hundred Seventeen Thousand and Twenty Three….and Counting.
By Bill Wigmore
On June the 10th, 1935 for the very first time in history, one drunk successfully carried the recovery message to another. Bill Wilson was sober only about 5 months when he told Dr. Bob Smith his story of what alcohol had done to him and what God had done for him. Miracle of miracles, Bob responded. Both men were in need of a miracle that day, and both men got one. Their miracles looked different. One was carrying the message and one was having it carried to him; but what each man needed, each received.
Within a few weeks, it was time for the miracle to be passed yet again. Dr. Bob said to his new sponsor, “If you and I are going to stay sober, we had better get busy.” Their first new recruit looked tough enough to give them second thoughts. He was an attorney named Bill D. who’d been detoxed on several previous occasions. He had just been through a bad case of DT’s and in the process of being admitted to the hospital this time, he’d given black eyes to two of the nurses. But none of this stopped Bill and Bob from carrying out their mission
A painting that appeared in the Saturday Evening Post article on AA by Jack Alexander captures the spirit that was present among those three men huddled together in that little hospital room. You’ll sometimes see a print of this scene hanging on the wall of an AA meeting room. It’s known as “The Man on the Bed” and that man will be forever known as “Alcoholic Number Three.”
Bill D. listened patiently as the two well-dressed strangers shared their stories of what it was like, what happened, and what it was like now. The man on the bed told his visitors that he was terrified to leave the safety of the hospital because he knew what was waiting for him out there. He wanted to believe that this strange new spiritual program that had worked for these two drunks could work for him too. He wanted to believe but he couldn’t. “This thing sounds wonderful for you fellows, but it can’t be for me. Thanks for coming.” he says. “But, no thanks.”
Bill D. had arrived at the turning point that I think every new addict arrives at sooner or later. The program sounds good – he or she can see with their own eyes that it can help others – but can it really work for the likes of them too? Bill D. spent the night tossing and turning, unable to sleep, but in the end, the lawyer says it was his own inflated ego that finally got him over the hump. “If these two Bozo’s can do it,” he thought, “then maybe I can too.” God works in mysterious ways, and for us drunks and addicts, he can even turn a character defect into a saving grace.
So, that night in Akron, Ohio, hope came to a third helpless alcoholic. The message had been successfully passed once again. And when he left the safety of that hospital, ironically, he was released on Independence Day 1935. Bill D. truly left as a free man. And no sooner was he out the door when Alcoholic Number Three went searching for Alcoholic Number Four. It’s been that way ever since.
Getting sober isn’t just about our quitting drinking and drugging. We’ve all quit those things before. But getting sober is finding a way to live out here in the world when it comes our time to leave the hospital and when we’re terrified to go because we know that our demons are laying in wait for us too.
Most of us will face problems that look and feel like they’re truly insurmountable. We’ve got no money, no car, no job, and no skills . Maybe everyone’s left us or our kids have been taken away. Maybe we have an amends to make that terrifies us or another addiction in our life that has yet to be healed. Part of us just wants to hide under the covers forever or run away to get drunk or stoned – give in to our demons and go join them howling at the moon, “Thanks but no thanks.”
At those times, try to remember Bill D. Look around you – look at the ones who are making it –- listen to them as they tell you what it was like – what happened – and what it’s like now – and then, listen once again. Listen to that voice inside; the voice we all know really, really well. It’s the voice of our own egos – but surrendered into God’s hands it can do wonders. Maybe you’ll hear it say, “If these Bozo’s can do it – so can I.”
So get up out of your bed. Go find yourself an alcoholic who’s in worse shape than you are – world’s actually full of them – and then go tell addict number “X” Million Two Hundred Seventeen Thousand and Twenty Four what God’s done for you. The Book says “We’re gonna be amazed before we’re half-way through. We’re gonna know a new freedom and a new happiness. We won’t regret the past nor will we wish to shut the door on it. We’ll suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Those are just some of the 12 Promises – but never forget the 13th Promise. It’s important God’s kingdom is full of Bozo’s, and there’s always room for one more.”
Reprinted with permission from the August 2007 Recovery Today
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