OVERCOMING

I have a list of what I consider to be bad habits. It seems that as hard as I try, I can’t seem to get rid of them. One of these bad habits is that I interrupt others when they are speaking. I have tried very hard to correct this inappropriate behavior. I have tried literally biting my tongue. I have prayed to God, “God walk with me today. Keep your hand on my shoulder and your other hand over my mouth.” I have questioned whether it is my ego getting in my way or is it part of my controlling nature. Whatever it is, I have found it difficult to break this habit.

This is just one area of my life that causes me problems. I have included this as part of my moral and fearless inventory and I have admitted these wrongs to another human being. I have even been entirely ready to have God remove these defects, but God doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to help. I sometimes wonder if I am the only one who has this problem.

I feel like the mythological figure, Sisyphus, who spent eternity rolling a large stone to the top of the hill. Every time he nearly reached his goal, the stone rolled back down the hill and he had to start all over again.

I read a story a while back that told of a man going to God and asking Him what he needed to do to gain the favor of God. God told the man to push a massive boulder. The man pushed against the boulder but no matter how hard he tried, he could not budge the boulder. Day in and day out he toiled, but to no avail. In the end, the man died without moving the boulder one inch. As he came before God, he lamented the fact that he had been unsuccessful in moving the boulder.

God pulled the man close to Him and told the man that he had been successful and had complied with his command. He had not asked to move the boulder, but simply to push it.

And maybe it is because I seek perfection instead of progress that I feel I have failed. I think God is telling me it is the fight that is important, not necessarily winning the battle. I will persist to overcome my shortcomings. I will continue to take my personal inventory, and I will continue to be ready to have God remove my defects of character. Hopefully, unlike Sisyphus, I will move my stones, one at a time, to the top of the hill where they will be forgotten.
In the meantime, I hope others will continue to tolerate my shortcomings as I try to tolerate theirs.

Thanks for letting me share!!!