Category: More Saturday Night Bath

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THE KISSING ROCKS

I think most of us have a favorite place on earth. Mine is located on the Central Coast of California on the Monterey Peninsula in the small town of Pacific Grove.

Located on the Pacific Ocean it is near the now famous Monterey Aquarium. Monterey Bay is one of the most unique ocean environments. Deep and wide, many species of sea life abound. Some species are not found anywhere else on earth.

Seals and Sea Otters are prolific and can be found wherever you go. Forty or more years ago the otters neared extinction so 100 miles of coastline was set aside as protected habitat and today the otters abound. The Seals have become somewhat of a problem since they have increased in their numbers and are protected by law. But they are fun to see and watch as they play.

As a youngster, my parents took my sister Norma and I to Pacific Grove often. About a 6 to 8 hour drive depending on which way you go. Often we took the now famous Highway One with its spectacular views of the ocean from cliffs high above.

I remember the first time we passed Hearst Castle. I was about 7 or 8 years old and the Castle was still inhabited occasionally by William Randolph Hearst. I could not speak I was so entranced in seeing the castle located high upon a hill. It was so intriguing as I remembered stories of castles we read about in school. I could imagine tapestries, secret hideaways and fireplaces that opened when one found the secret place that opened it into that secret room. Knights and evil sorcerers were having sword fights in my imagination.

Big Sur was another highlight of Highway One. The beauty of the redwoods kissing the bright blue ocean is spectacular.

Those early days in Pacific Grove were usually spent watching the waves hit the rocks, listening to the fog horn which could be heard all over Pacific Grove. Driving the Seventeen Mile Drive and seeing the Lone Cypress and Pebble Beach Golf Course. Point Lobos was another favorite. Enjoying each of these spots always included walking out on the rocks. In many cases we had to dodge the spray from the ocean pounding on the rocks. Sometimes we would park the car along the road in Pacific Grove and walk along the rocky shoreline. Tide pools drew us to them as we were able to see firsthand sea creatures; crabs, small fish, and more. I would put my hands into the cold water and look under rocks and touch some of the flora in the pool. It has always been so special to me to witness nature up close and personal. Otters, Seals, and Whales abounded in the area. My mom collected very tiny pieces of colored glass that had been washed and made smooth by the continual beating on the rocks. She carefully placed them into a small glass container. There were clear pieces, as well as green, blue, and red. We also found some of the most amazing pieces of driftwood that we added to our collection of treasures. On our first trip to Monterey, Norma was four and I was five and we were crawling on the rocks at Lover’s Point when we saw these red crabs. All I remember is that they scared the wits out of Norma and me as we visualized being pinched by their claws.

The wharf in Monterey was not to be missed. Restaurants in those early days featured Abalone Steaks, unknown to other restaurants throughout the United States. The taste is amazing. Back then it was affordable and Abalone could be seen often in the rocks around Pacific Grove. Today the prices are off the charts often going for a hundred dollars a pound.
The wharf also featured sea food markets where my dad would buy a Salmon and have it packed in ice, for our drive home on our last day of our trip. Those markets no longer exist today.

We would often drive an hour north to just north of Santa Cruz to walk through the Henry Cowell Redwoods (Theodore Roosevelt was one of the first to visit). These hundreds of years old redwoods towered high above us, some over 300 feet tall. They were so thick that there were many places the sun could not penetrate. After this visit we would go next door to ride the steam train at Roaring Camp in Felton. This lumber train would go high into the redwoods in open cars so we could view nature in its finest.

The memories I had of Pacific Grove and the surrounding area that I had visited so many times as a kid was my Heaven on Earth.

In 2023 I took Diann to Monterey and Pacific Grove. She immediately fell in love with the area. Her favorite thing to do was to sit and watch the ocean. The shoreline is mostly rocky and when the waves hit the rocks there are some pretty spectacular splashes, some going many feet into the air.

We returned in 2025 we returned. It was a four day road trip from Missouri, but we also had fun as we drove the 1800 miles to get there.

On this trip I introduced Diann to the Kissing Rocks. Two rocks who touched each other and gave the appearance of kissing. Located in an observation point was a bench. It overlooked the rocks and sitting there with Diann was moments of absolute peace and contentment. We often sat in silence for an hour or more. On other occasions we spoke of our life together and how blessed we were to have found each other. In this lifetime I have never experienced such an amazing relationship with such a wonderful partner.’

Now understand, Pacific Grove today is a very desirable tourist location and is often very crowded as it was during our stay. But each time, (and there were several) we stopped to sit on “our bench” it was always available and empty. The Universe seemed to make sure it would remain special to us.

It is difficult to put into words how a relationship can be more perfect. In the time we have been together there have been no fights, no unkind words, no interest in controlling the other. Just peace! A peaceful feeling of unconditional love!The Oneness we experience is something I have looked for all of my life. I learned so much about how I created problems in former relationships. I will try my best not to screw things up this time.

So, my friends, if you should be in Pacific Grove, locate the Kissing Rocks. When you do, we give you permission to sit on our magical bench.

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LISTENING and LOVE

I remember as a youngster being admonished by my parents to listen to what they were saying. Often the reproach for not listening was something like, “You’re not listening to me” or “When are you going to start listening to what I tell you.” Parents for the most part were concerned for our welfare and truthfully I was not listening or more often disregarded what they were saying.

I have many memories of not obeying or listening to my parents efforts to keep me safe. I lived in Arcadia, California. We were only a few miles from the San Gabriel Mountain foothills. My friend Bob and I often packed a lunch and rode our bikes up Santa Anita Avenue to the base of the foothills, a very long and steep climb on a bicycle. We would eat our lunches on a knoll overlooking the valley below. The for the fun part! We coasted down Santa Anita Avenue on our bikes. Bob’s speedometer on his bike would peg out at 50 miles an hour. We did not stop for stop signs, we simply free wheeled down the road until we reached the bottom over a mile from the top.

When my parents overheard Bob and I talking about our adventures, you can imagine their reaction. “Listen to me carefully, don’t you ever do that again!”

Of course we made the trip several times again. Back in those early days of my life, our parents often did not know what or where we were. The wide open spaces that no longer exist called us to many adventures.

On one of these excursions to the foothills, the brakes on my bike went out. I knew this before we began our descent. That did not stop me. I had not used brakes on prior occasions so there was no need to worry.

We began our thrill ride down the hill and as usual were going very fast. As we neared the bottom of the hill I saw a car pulling out from a stop sign and there was no way I was going to avoid it. My heart was pounding and my brain was trying to think of what to do in those split seconds. At the last moment I dove off of my bike into a bank of Ivy. My bicycle continued unmanned down the street. How it avoided the car I do not know, but it did and eventually overturned at the bottom of the hill about a quarter mile away. The Ivy had cushioned my fall and other than a few cuts and bruises, I was okay. It was in that moment that I realized maybe my parents were not as dumb as I thought.

But this is not a good example of listening. Listening was so much more as I learned later in life. It wasn’t about keeping me safe, it was about listening to other people who needed to be heard. I believe some of my past relationships with wives and friends failed because of my inability to listen so that they felt they were heard. I know I didn’t always listen to my children and to acquaintances like I should have. I even attended “active listening” classes and was involved in establishing a peer support program within the Sheriff’s Department I worked for. Active listening was a key part of that curriculum.

I was able to turn my listening skill off and on. If I was in a situation at work where I was working in my peer support capacity, I turned it on and when it was over I pretty much turned it off. As a result I was so into myself that I didn’t pay much attention to those important moments in my relationships.

When I met Diann, we often talked on the phone several times a day. That was in the beginning of our relationship after we first met. We were both hurting. Diann from a lifetime of emotional abuse and me from the loss of my wife Danielle. Maybe for the first time in my life I found out how much I needed to be heard and as a result I really started to listen to Diann. It wasn’t hard, I just applied my active listening skills to my current situation and soon it became second nature.

As our relationship progressed we began a tradition. Each morning, we would sit together and either discuss an issue of interest or more often we read together. Some of the books we read were by some of our favorite authors: Florence Shinn, Dr.Wayne Dyer, Eric Butterworth, Neale Donald Walsh and many more. We usually had two books so that we could read along and highlight or make notes as we read. We would read a chapter or a few pages and then discuss what we had just read. Often our conversations would wander from what we just read but the miracle for me was that I was able to truly listen to what Diann was saying. I often could not believe how wise she was and we learned from each other. Some days the discussion might last only a few minutes but often we talked for more than an hour. As we digested the material we might talk again during the day.

So what does all of this listening have to do with love? As Diann and I sat together and listened to each other, I saw an aura that seemed to surround her. She was exhibiting a glow and she became more beautiful to me. Not only in her face but I was able to see the love coming from her heart. I fell more and more in love with my partner, now my wife.

As time has progressed over these last few years this tradition continues. We meet together each morning, not out of a sense of duty, but because we truly enjoy our times together. In my lifetime I had never felt one with another human being. With Diann the love that exists between us has allowed us to be as one. Finishing each others sentences or knowing what a decision was before it was made has become fun.

I had known in my head what unconditional love was but I had never felt it before. Today and for whatever time I have left on this earth I have found my Heaven, my Nirvana by listening to the love that comes from my partner and soul-mate.

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DROWNED RATS

Have you ever heard an advertisement that really hits home with you and you can imagine how great it will be if you answer the ad? Then to only be disappointed when the ad does not meet your expectations.

I remember trips across country with my parents. My sister Norma and I were somewhere around 9 or 10 years old during our first trip. My parents had good friends in Grand Rapids, Michigan and we would often spend our vacations visiting with them. We were living in Arcadia, California, a suburb of Los Angeles.

This would have been in the mid 1950s and we travelled in our 1951 Nash. It was a 4 door and the car reminded me of an upside down bathtub.

As we travelled Route 66 we would see billboard advertisements for “Trading Posts”. My dad would be enticed by these ads for unusual sights. I remember one billboard advertising baby rattlers. We were excited to see rattlesnakes up close so we stopped and found a enclosure containing baby rattles not rattlesnakes. But my dad was not dissuaded. I believe we stopped at every trading post on Route 66, of which there were many.
How many of you in your cross country drives or while driving through South Dakota remember Wall Drugs. The first billboards started showing up over 100 miles away. Each billboard attempted to entice you to stop. Who could not give in to “Free Ice Water” or the enticement of Wall Drug having everything one would ever need. Each billboard gave more information including the distance one had to travel to arrive.

Fast forward to today. My wife Diann and I are living in Blue Springs, Missouri. That’s about a 20 minute drive east of Kansas City. We see an ad that is about the Amtrak River Runner. It tells us that it is a route from Kansas City to St. Louis, Missouri. The Amtrak train route runs along the Missouri River all the way to St. Louis and back. Based upon the advertisement and our imagining the trip along the river, we booked passage on the Amtrak River Runner.

We boarded the train on the appointed day ready to see the beauty of the Missouri River. The train began its journey and we were awaiting the beauty we expected. Well there was no dome car and the windows on the train were about mid-level on each of the train cars. There were bushes that lined almost the entire route and nothing beyond these bushes could be seen. We eventually reached the Missouri River. The train crossed the river and that was the last we saw of any river.

Upon reaching the St. Louis Union Station it began to rain. Not just a drizzle but a full-out cloud burst. We had no umbrella and as we departed the train had to go some distance to be under any kind of cover. Needless to say, by the time we reached any cover we were totally drenched. We managed to arrange transportation to our hotel but arrived there looking like two drowned rats. But it was fun and that’s what life is all about.

Inspite of the trip not measuring up to the advertisement, Diann and I had a wonderful time together both on the train and for the remainder of our stay and trip back home.

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THE MIRACLE AT STARBUCK’S

I happen to be a firm believer that our loved ones who have passed through that door we call death, enter into another realm that is filled with love. This is a story of love that comes from beyond the grave or in this case beyond a loved one’s ashes. I hope you see this as a wonderful love story.

Following the passing of my dear wife Danielle, I thought my life as I knew it had ended. I could not imagine life without Danielle. And I never believed I could ever love again.

I need to go back to a week or two before Danielle died. She and I were sitting in our living room. Danielle on our couch and me in the chair facing the couch. Danielle said she had something to say to me. She said, “After I’m gone Ray, I want you to find another woman.”

I was flabbergasted. I replied that I could not even consider such a thing. I was in love with Danielle and the thought of another woman in my life was unthinkable, and I told her so. She then said, “Okay, if you won’t find someone, I’ll find someone for you!” I laughed and told her my only interest was in remaining with her, my true love.

Danielle passed away on Christmas Eve 2022 after a very brief encounter with Leukemia. For me my life was over. Now fast forward to a few months later.

I walked into a Starbuck’s coffee shop and saw this beautiful lady standing in line. Not just a beautiful lady but someone I had actually seen in my dreams. As I walked towards this lovely lady a connection occured as we looked into each others’ eyes. As I was standing in line to order I struck up a conversation. I introduced myself as Ray and she said her name was Diann. When we arruived at the counter to place our order, I ordered a hot chocolate for Diann and a Coffee Mocha for me. She thanked me and we took a table together. And that was the beginning of an amazing and loving relationship, although neither of knew it at the time. Diann explained that she was married but in the process of a separation. I explained my marital situation and we began what was to become a two and a half hour conversation.

We spoke of many things including each of our current living situations, the feelings and emotions attached to leaving these situations, and the fact that we each had difficulties seeing our futures. As Diann and I talked with each other it was if we had known each other our entire lives. We each were baring our souls of things I thought I was not ready to share with anyone, let alone a complete stranger.

I shared about Danielle and my love for her as well as some of our experiences. Diann shared about her marital circumstances and the need to leave a loveless marriage. She also spoke of John, a love lost to death but also the love of her life from years ago. I think that we were both experiencing similar feelings as we dealt with the end of our relationships and of our grief.

At one point in the conversaton when Diann was speaking of a not-so-nice experience in her past, Diann had spent a good part of her life being emotionally abused and used. As she was speaking of her abusive relationship I felt moved to reach across the table and place my hand on hers. It was such a special moment. I felt a deep compassion for her past life and let her know I was here for her. There was something magical in the twinkling of an eye moment. It was electrical. Having only met this lady and having the feelings I was feeling for her was most unusual.
I was living in Missouri and I was planning a trip to visit my brothers in Oregon and California. I had not seen my family in nearly 8 years and so this road trip was very special to me. On my way to the west coast I was planning to see parts of the United States as I traveled through various states on my journey. As Diann and I continued our conversation these next words came out of my mouth. There was no forethought, I to this day do not know where the words came from, but nevertheless out they came. I said, “I’m going on a road trip to California and I’m taking you with me!” And Diann immediately answered, “Yes, I’m going with you.” Later I walked Diann to her car and I did something that seemed so natural to me. I pulled her to me and kissed her. Not a long enduring kiss, just a short but meaningful kiss. We each departed and went our separate ways.

Two months later we did make that three week road trip, but before that happened, Diann and I spoke on the phone every day. Sometimes we spoke two or three times a day and each conversation lasted for at least 90 minutes or more. We shared all of our secrets, we spoke of so many things, we bared our feelings, and each day we fell more and more in love with each other.

Diann and I moved in with each other a few months later. As she moved through her divorce and I dealt with my grief, we continued to support each other.

One of the traditions that we established without realizing it was that each morning we would sit together and share special moments of conversation. Eventually we began reading spiritual, motivational, inspirational, or educational books together. Following our readings we continued a dialogue that lasted anywhere from 5 minutes to more than an hour. But the best part was that we really listened to each other. We shared our feelings and our deepest secrets. I told Diann things I had not told another human being. I was completely and totally transparent and I believe she has been the same with me. As a result a bond of love grew between us. A bond of love, friendship and mutual respect for one another. Today we still continue these mornings together where our spirits seem to touch and we feel a oneness in our relationship.

Today we have the opportunity to live our lives as one. Diann and I married on August 16, 2024 and our love continues to thrive. I never imagined I would ever be so happy again but today I am the happiest I have ever been. Our relationship is magical and for me often euphoric.. Not one angry word, not one fight, and only friendly disagreements from time to time. Our relationship is over the top. We speak of how special it is on a regular basis.

So, I’d like to think that Diann and John made it possible for the two of us to come together and that somehow they both remain intertwined in our lives. I know that somehow those two made sure we were at Stabucks on that wonderful day.