APRIL

Spring is in the air! Plants are showing their new growth, birds are building nests, and all is well with the world. Well, with some at least.

April reminds me of the dreaded Fourth Step. The Step that I would do anything to avoid. I remember going to my sponsor after about a year of sobriety and asking him about my changing behavior. I had faithfully attended and participated in meetings and had been feeling like I was walking about three feet off the ground. Lately, however, I had felt like I was regressing. I was moody and not as happy as I had been the previous few months. I was feeling anxious and irritable. I asked my sponsor, Bob, what was happening. He just grinned and asked, “So, Ray, have you completed that Fourth Step yet?” As he said those words, it became perfectly clear to me that I had neglected a part of my recovery process and was paying the price.

I won’t bore you with the details, but I did complete my Fourth Step. I found that once I started I could not stop once I began. I realized how simple the Fourth Step was. As usual, I had made it more complicated than it was ever meant to be. To my amazement, once I had completed my inventory, the Fifth, Sixth and Seventh Steps just fell into place and were easily completed.

This article is not about working the Steps. It is about gratitude.

This morning, the recent rain showers left the sky blue, the air clean, and the trees, bushes and flowers clean and bright. It was one of those mornings when it was so great to be alive. Just to be part of the morning was a gift.

I was reminded of the gift of my sobriety. I became thankful for Bill W. and Dr. Bob. I am glad there was an Oxford Group. I am thankful for the people and the Steps who brought me to recovery. I will be forever grateful to a God/Higher Power who saw that someone as insignificant as me was loved. I am grateful that in my hour of desperation and loss of hope, God was there to help me pull myself out of the pit. The miracles that followed and continue to occur are accepted gratefully as gifts from God.

I believe that my response to these gifts is gratitude through service. Service to all those who suffer – whatever that suffering may be. Service that is given freely because of what has been given to us.

I know how much so many of you give to others. You serve as an example to me by showing your love, compassion and caring. I see you giving freely of your precious time. I hear you talk of the rewards obtained through service. I feel your love when I walk into a meeting and you are there. I know that the love I feel from you also comes from beyond you and I am truly blessed.

I hope I never take any of you or my gift of sobriety for granted. Let’s celebrate the renewal of Spring.